I am unmotivated. After my big weekend, I sorta lost some oompf. I'm tired. I'm sunburned. I'm chafed. I'm hungry. I'm dumb. [And, evidently, I'm whiny.] This is different than TRAIN BRAIN. It's an off-shoot - but it's different. I've been in a huge build phase of training and suddenly - I'm done. I rested on Monday, but skipped a key workout on Tuesday.

I remember my first year of ironman training. I had done a hot, long ride and my paces for my run were AWFUL. I couldn't keep up with my friends. I wanted to walk. I wanted to quit. I pouted. I sat under a tree by myself and cried a little bit while I stretched. I tried to pull it together for the ride home but I was snappy and mad as a hornet. I called my coach and she talked me off my ledge. When you're crying and sad and you hate your coach and your friends and your husbands (her words), it's time to taper.

It's not taper time for me, but I know when it's time to dial it back. I feel like a zombie. I dread everything about swimming, biking and running and I dread everything in between. This is how I deal:

GO FOR A RUN: An easy run on a cloudy day without my watch. It sounds ridiculous to go out for a run when I feel so against it, but there's something about running that takes me back to fourth grade when I started running. I was having a horrible year in school. My teacher was mean, my confidence was shot and my emotions were the tween twister. My dad and I ran every day after work and school. Running helped me get my emotions out of the way, it grew my confidence, it was a good escape. So, I ran on Wednesday. It helped me get my emotions out of the way and make some key decisions - about training, work and life.

WATCH A MOVIE:  I watched one of my top ten favorites: The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. One of the most beautiful-fun-love-story-finding-yourself adventures. Then, I watched a new one: WILD, based on the memoir of Cheryl Strayed. After the dissolution of her marriage and the death of her mother, she hiked the Pacific Crest Trail to recover. The correlation of her hike is not dissimilar to my own swim/bike/run adventure: a quest to ask the WHAT IFS or find redemption, forgiveness and identity.


ANTI-TRI: I did non-tri-related stuff. I had a date night with Ace. It included a dress and press-on nails and heels. I decorated my house for Halloween (yes, already). I slept in. I flipped through a un-sporty magazine and watched Lip Sync Battle.  I watered my plants walked the dog. I reconnected, rested and redirected my mind and felt amazing in 48 hours.