The downward spiral in my brain was an inverse of the upward creep in temperature. By mile 80, the temperatures were above 95 degrees. The highest temp I recorded was 98 right before the turn back onto the Queen K. And, let me remind you - there is no shade on this course. And the side winds picked up, too. I was uncomfortable in my saddle and I was having a hard time eating and drinking. My brain was toast.
I was trying to do iron math and as you'll find out I clearly fail this class. I was at mile 75ish when I saw the aid station at mile 45ish being dismantled and the sweep vehicle behind the last cyclist. And, that’s when I began trying to figure out if I could finish the bike within the cut-off. Athletes are given 10 hours and 30 minutes to finish the swim & the bike. I correctly figured out that I needed to finish the bike by 5:40PM to avoid a DNF (DID NOT FINISH). But, the rest of my calculations were wrong. I mean, story problems were never my strength.
I would look at my computer and see I was doing 9 miles an hour and I would think: I’m at mile 80 and at 9 miles an hour. It’s going to take me 3.5 hours - that means I’m going to finish at 5:30. And if I spent 10 minutes in transition 1 - I’m not going to make it. I finished Coeur d’Alene in 8:30 and I don’t think I can finish this in 9 hours.
Now mind you, I would only do these calculations on the uphills. On the downhills, I would pay attention to the road and my bike handling. On the downhills, I’d ramp my speed to 20mph. My averages - which beeped on my computer every 5 miles - were usually on target at closer to I5 mph.
My self-talk was pitiful. I can’t believe I came all the way out here and I might not finish the bike. I can’t believe you’ve practiced for this and you still aren’t going to make it. In hindsight, I’m most irritated at myself because I thought this way. I’m usually positive and optimistic in these situations.
I went through anger, sadness, frustration, fear. I hit all the lows. And, this went on for about an hour.
Finally I pulled it together. You can keep talking to yourself like this... you can keep beating yourself up or you can ride your bike. What can you say to yourself in this mile that is positive? I thought of being Don Quixote and chasing windmills. I sang songs out loud again: Somewhere over the Rainbow, Shake it Off, Silent Night. I sang Climb from Miley Cyrus for goodness sake!
I used the camelbak water to hose my legs and back. I could barely drink the water in my aero bottle but stayed on my 10 minute alarm-or drank to thirst. I was not getting nutrition or salt out of my frame bottles so I had to up my BASE salt intake and improvise my calories. Gummy colas-can't swallow. Waffles-HARD NO. Skratch blueberry gummies-yes. Coffee licorice-yes. I was able to eat a birthday cake-flavored GU. And part of a lemon GU liquid energy. Best of all - SKITTLES. I had grabbed them at special needs and could eat them slowly.
Although I was afraid to stop…..I did stop at the second to last aid station and got ice for my aero bottle & one of my frame bottles. That cold plain water was the best thing ever. A few miles later, I pulled out my salted watermelon INFINIT and that first gulp was a life-saving thirst-quenching slice of heaven. I drank again and on the front of it- cold and delicious. On the back of it hot, boiling grossness. I felt a little queasy. I did not touch it again. I couldn't. The last 20 miles were.... hard. I kept singing. I kept thinking of all the hard rides I've done these past few years-and survived. I kept shouting HOLOMUA (the theme to this year's race) - to no one and everyone who passed me.
Finally, I could make out the town of Kona. Finally, I started seeing runners. Finally, I made it to the spot that Erin and Sami predicted I would reach my limit on the bike: that spot where I HAD. TO. GET. OFF. THE. BIKE. I was still three miles out! But, I was in town and started to see more people. I was thrilled to make all the turns back into town. There were volunteers and runners and spectators again.
I turned right onto Palani and saw and Ace and Maria and Tonya cheering me in to transition. I looked down at my computer and it read….8:02!!!!
I headed into transition and swung my bike over all my bottles. Ah. Solid ground. And then, Uh Oh. I don’t feel so good.
